The year 2020 has been interesting to say the very least, It brought a whirlwind that revealed what had been concealed, both triumphs and challenges. For me, it was a year of looking into myself and exploring suppressed and hidden emotions. What a trip!!!
I was in Rishikesh, India when the most spoken about virus hit the world. This renowned place for yoga and meditation practitioners was not immune to the collective panic and fear that was experienced by the planet. There was uncertainty and unease as a lockdown regime was announced approximately 5 hours before it became effective. Since this city attracts a sizeable number of foreign nationals, some embassies managed to repatriate their citizens amidst the chaos and suspended air travel.
I stayed put for I was very happy with my living conditions. I had a comfortable room with a partial view of the Ganga and the Himalayan foothills and shared the house with amazing housemates and the local family who owned the guesthouse was kind, amicable and helpful. I felt at home. We also did not have a 24 hour lockdown, we had curfew from 10 AM through 7 AM initially and later from 1 PM through 7 AM.
I tried not to roam around too much, but one fateful day, I decided to walk from my abode to the market Rishikesh city, a mere distance of approximately 3,5 km.
I walked along the Ganga River and the trip to the market was quiet and pleasant for it was early morning. The sun was shining and people were either bathing in the river or performing pujas (worship rituals). I reached the market and noticed that although a majority of the shops had been closed, there was a buzz from motorcycles, cars and shoppers but I also noticed that people were weary of me but I dismissed it. I bought my vegetables and headed back towards the Ganga Ghats (riverfront steps leading to the riverbank). To my dismay, there was a police officer at the entrance and he denied me access. I tried to explain that I did not know any other way to return to my place of residence but he dismissed me and I understood that I needed to find another way and so I did.
This saw me walking through a slum, a place of squalor and much human suffering. People were shouting “Corona” behind me and I saw raw fear in their eyes, to them, I was the virus, their own fears personified. Thankfully, the terrain was full of stones and what seemed like faeces and my focus was directed towards my feet for I did not wish to trip or tread on smelly surprises.
I remembered to remain centred and returned love firstly to myself and then to the dwellers of this inhospitable place. I felt compassion for them for a small part of me could relate to their situation in a different way. I have been fearful too and I have thrown spears of blame towards other persons whom I also personified as my fear in order to feel temporary relief from the pain that I was trying very hard to avoid, ignore or suppress.
In that moment, I did not feel that my survival was at risk. I had a beautiful room in which I could isolate myself and they had makeshift shelters made from plastic bags, which I imagined were shared with many other family members. I could understand their panic and I did not take it personally when they projected it onto me.
I reached the Ganga riverbanks and this brief encounter was literally behind me, and I thanked the souls for presenting an opportunity for me to be grateful for everything I have now, in the present moment, for everything, as is.
