Entering into a relationship, from my point of view, is akin to purposefully committing oneself into an asylum or a mental hospital.
Your partner serves as your mirror, doppelgänger, and your nemesis.
As a result, they can bring out all that is hidden.
Suppressed Anger,
Hero syndrome,
Self-absorption etc.
And when these symptoms arise…
A predictable reaction is…
Medication!
Sex. Food. Drugs. Alcohol. And other forms of escapist behaviour.
However, an unexpected but more beneficial reaction, based on my own experience, is…
Self-awareness practice.
I made the decision to venture into the uncharted territory of my mind. And I noticed over time, that this simple act of sitting and observing the chatter in my mind allowed me to gain enough courage to resist the urge to push away painful thoughts and emotions whenever they arose.
I began to notice my unhealthy relational patterns and the direct correlation between them and the blemished conditioning of my mind. And I also realised that I attracted dysfunction because I had not yet experienced peace and harmony within.
I continued sitting and observed after a few months, that I had become a very good friend to my aloneness.
I was experiencing solace in my solitude.
And I had found refuge in myself.
I was no longer seeking a liberator from outside of myself, in the form of a partner, to save me from being with myself.
This realisation and experience was radical for me.
It felt like I had mastered a magic trick.
And for now…
I no longer require relationships to serve as a form of identity.
Additionally, I enjoy companionship, while it lasts, without much clinging.
And there is remembrance that…
Life is a fun game to play, with my friends, my fractals.
Those who understand that I cannot be understood.
And thus, I do not require understanding to be a prerequisite for Love.
I give Love freely since it is freely received.
And always available 💗
