What is it?
To whom do I need to be emotionally available?
Is it possible to deny myself, my pain, wounds and still be available emotionally, to myself or to others?
Can I provide succour to myself when emotions that seem to overtake my mind hit me like a wave? Repeatedly? Without pause?
Is my knee-jerk reaction to suppress my feelings, hide them away or deny their existence, in order to appear stable to those around me?
For me, being emotionally available means being possessed by the courage to confront, to remain open and receptive to every emotional wave, in every moment, without judging what arises as good or bad. It sounds good in theory, and this probably requires a lifetime of practice. But I imagine that putting in the work is rewarding. It becomes fun at times to step back and feel the feelings inside the body and their accompanying sensations.
For example, at times I am aware that anger is arising in me by the surge of heat that I feel inside the body. And when that wave of awareness hits me, it is fortunate for the objects around me, whether they’re humans or electronic devices ha-ha! because a conditioned reaction does not follow afterwards. The emotion, in the form of anger is experienced , seen as a feeling, accepted and sublimated.
I feel that emotions are a natural occurrence. They are as natural as sitting on a toilet seat to empty our bowels. At times, what we excrete has a rather foul smell but we do not stop emptying our bowels as a consequence of the stench. We accept it, release and carry on. And nature is kind to us because we find our own stench rather agreeable, to an extent, of course. Similarly we have no reason to find the feelings that arise in us repulsive. They exist for a reason, if we can only sit with them long enough for them to be experienced, released, naturally.
I have experienced that a balanced emotional attitude is beneficial for me and for others.
I opt for a natural flow and release of emotions, it would be unwise to suffer from constipation or diarrhea. May I no longer be enslaved by the misconception that I am a victim of the emotions that arise in my life, from moment to moment.
The power lies in my ability to observe them silently, objectively.
