I have been asked by some of my old friends whether or not they should quit their jobs. Some of them claim that I look much younger now compared to when I still held a corporate job. I don’t know if that’s true, because I don’t remember how I looked nine years ago but there is probably some truth in this statement.
“Should I quit my job?” My knee-jerk response was always; No, don’t do it, don’t quit your job.
The reason I said that was because I didn’t quit my job. It dissolved. I didn’t plan to live the life that I’m living now. In fact, I’ve never been someone who’s able to live in the future or to plan ahead. That’s probably part of the reason why it was easier for me to let my job go. From as far as I can remember, my life has often been under construction. Yes, I planned to go to university, complete four years of study and endure three years of articles. I do remember that I almost quit halfway through because it just didn’t feel correct for me. But I had aspirations and ambitions and I carried on and completed what I had started.
When the time came for my life to change as drastically as it did, there was no thinking, no planning; there was nothing to be done. I simply responded to the events that were presenting themselves to me. I returned home after working and living in New York City, I was back in my old office, with my old company, doing a different job. I worked as a risk analyst at that point, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. I enjoyed the relationships and the new challenge. I cannot say that I was not happy; I admit that team dynamics were complicated, but that comes with most jobs that require teamwork.
An unforeseen event took place, and my father died that year. That was tragic for me and I returned home for 10 days to mourn with my family. Something changed during that time period for me. I didn’t realise what it was but living 1500 km away from my family stopped making sense to me. I decided that it was time to relocate. I began interviewing for another job and I was successful.
I met with the team and one of the directors said to me: “You do realise that you’re not going to be spending much time with your loved ones, if you take this job.”
I was about to accept a job with a big investment bank and I was going to work as an analyst in their mergers and acquisitions department. I remember thinking, Oh no, this is what I’ve been trying very hard not to repeat; I have worked in jobs where I didn’t see sunrise or sunset. And I remember how awful that was for me. And back then, I thought I didn’t have a choice and choosing to repeat the same thing, seemed ludicrous. I asked for some time to deliberate and when I declined the offer, the director’s reaction took me by surprise; she was understanding and asked me to share my reasons with her. I told her that I needed to go to South America and to volunteer my time. And she said: “Fine we will be waiting for you, honour yourself, take three months off and then come back.”
I volunteered at an after school centre in Cusco and met people who would work for one year and subsequently spend all their savings on travel. I was flabbergasted! I had retirement savings as well as savings for non-retirement. I have been saving money from the age of five.
I observed these people over time and I realised that they possessed a level of trust, which I did not have. This magnetised me. The carefree, tomorrow will take care of itself way of life resonated deeply with me; it felt more natural for me to be living in this way.
But I also thought that my qualification does not allow me to take time off for one year, for example, I still have to complete my professional hours and stay proficient, competitive and relevant, and who is going to employ someone that is going to say; “I’m only here for one year and I plan to go on vacation, travel around the world, spend all the money I’ve earned, and then I’ll come back.” That sounded ridiculous to me, and I couldn’t find a model that would work for me. But nonetheless, I was not planning to trade my lifestyle for theirs but I was truly imprinted upon.
Upon my return home, I went back to the bank and declined the offer again. I explained that something in me had shifted, and that I needed to explore what had changed. I did not wish to inconvenience anyone, and make promises that I could not keep, because during that moment of my life, I felt very unreliable. I am still unreliable, ha-ha!
And so, the saga began, I found myself involved in more travel and when I was not traveling, I spent my time pondering and contemplating the mystery that is life, literally sitting and doing nothing. And this was the first time in my life where I did not feel like I needed to chase anything. And my mother was very upset. I remember that she would ask my siblings to ask me if I planned to do anything with my life. And I did not know. I had no plan, no idea; I still do not have a clue.
I’m still not doing anything with my life, according to mainstream thinking. But I feel more liberated and alive presently. I wouldn’t say that I’m reckless, but I would say that I face life every single day and I am always surprised by what it brings to me.
For example, the other day, I went into the forest and I saw Pumbaa, a warthog in Rishikesh. I also saw a man carrying a big bed frame on his back, in the same forest. And I thought, who in the corporate world, in an office job has time to see these hilarious things. I don’t know, perhaps some people do, but this is my path in my life and this is how it’s unfolding. I don’t know what will follow next; I never know; mine is a life of the unexpected. But I do feel that I’m prepared for any unforeseen turns. I trust that there’s a bigger picture and I may not always see it while it is unfurling. I may talk about it years later, in retrospect, like I am now.
If someone asked me today whether or not he or she should quit his or her job, I would answer differently. I would not say “No!” but I would ask; “What does your gut, say?” I didn’t ask whether or not I should quit my job. I just didn’t take the job. I had already quit my job. My decision was made in steps. I didn’t put an abrupt end to something that was still serving me. My time in the office was over and it had served me. It allowed me to save enough money so that I could explore different ways of expression.
I have no idea about what I’m doing with my life and my mother is still in shock, but I feel content. I have more trust in life.
I am waiting and anticipating the flowering of the next adventure while I continue with my inner and outer gypsy revolution.
